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Literature Text
My heart falls to oblivion,
and the darkness starts to steep.
My mind follows soon after,
No longer afraid of these shadows that creep.
I rest in this peaceful nothing,
Praying for no end.
The cool caress of this twilight,
Is surely my one God-send.
Never a more curious feeling was pondered,
Like a nightmare you don't want to quit.
I wonder of this silent heaven,
Where never a light has been lit.
I question the things that might lurk here,
The tragedies that might befall.
Sometimes I yearn for an image,
I see everything yet nothing at all.
At first this was peace and tranquility,
A safe haven for me to reside.
Now it's a cruel form of torture,
Where the worst is most always implied.
My soul will forever now dwell here,
In this place of smothering sin.
I have become an unknow creature,
So the outside will not let me in.
and the darkness starts to steep.
My mind follows soon after,
No longer afraid of these shadows that creep.
I rest in this peaceful nothing,
Praying for no end.
The cool caress of this twilight,
Is surely my one God-send.
Never a more curious feeling was pondered,
Like a nightmare you don't want to quit.
I wonder of this silent heaven,
Where never a light has been lit.
I question the things that might lurk here,
The tragedies that might befall.
Sometimes I yearn for an image,
I see everything yet nothing at all.
At first this was peace and tranquility,
A safe haven for me to reside.
Now it's a cruel form of torture,
Where the worst is most always implied.
My soul will forever now dwell here,
In this place of smothering sin.
I have become an unknow creature,
So the outside will not let me in.
Literature
Unspoken
For the love
I never shared.
For the things
I'll never tell.
For all the secrets
Big and small.
For the times
I ignored the calls.
For all the words
I left unspoken.
I'm now drowning
In my emotions.
Literature
there are galaxies in your eyes
There's a universe
inside of you-
it's been there quite a while,
and I only hope
you see the constellations
that scintillate in your smile
and I've heard
there's billions of galaxies
scattered in the sky,
but I swear
at least half of them
are resting in your eyes.
Literature
Entropy
i spin apart, a galaxy
ever expanding while
stardust confessions
trace icy paths down
my spine -- the ghost
of your fingertips
against my skin
lingers
even after your memory
fades
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I wanted to write something involving oblivion because I was never able to finish my poem entitled "Oblivion".
This was not written from personal experience or anything, but I was, at the end, sort of going to show how things can often change for the worse, no matter how good they seem at the beginning.
I hope that you guys like it!
This was not written from personal experience or anything, but I was, at the end, sort of going to show how things can often change for the worse, no matter how good they seem at the beginning.
I hope that you guys like it!
© 2012 - 2024 Fyres-Descent
Comments9
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Excellent work! I only have a view comments/concerns about this piece:
For the poem as a whole, I recommend rechecking the punctuation you used and how you used it. It does help the poem read easier in certain areas but in others it creates a bit of a shaky effect. In addition bolding and italicizing the first word of a line can emphasis the line and make it stand out to the reader more, making the lines that are a continuation or sub idea does the same thing, so does indenting too.
Your third and fourth lines in the first stanza are a bit of a mouthful, condensing them while still keeping their basic structure would help solve that problem.
Omitting the word one in the final line of your second stanza or revamping the structure of the line would help that verse end and lead into the next verse a bit better. It would allow the words to roll off the readers tongue and provide a better flow for your poem.
The first two lines of your third stanza read jerkily, perhaps because of your use of the word like in the second line and the sheer wordiness of your first line. The message you wanted to show is clear but that doesn't mean it couldn't be improved.
The third line of your final stanza uses the word unknow, did you mean for this to be unknown?
Your poem is an amazing read and I only typed all I did for your benefit, the poem is pretty good as it is now. Sorry for typing so much but this poem has so much potential, I just couldn't pass it by ^_^
For the poem as a whole, I recommend rechecking the punctuation you used and how you used it. It does help the poem read easier in certain areas but in others it creates a bit of a shaky effect. In addition bolding and italicizing the first word of a line can emphasis the line and make it stand out to the reader more, making the lines that are a continuation or sub idea does the same thing, so does indenting too. Your third and fourth lines in the first stanza are a bit of a mouthful, condensing them while still keeping their basic structure would help solve that problem. Omitting the word one in the final line of your second stanza or revamping the structure of the line would help that verse end and lead into the next verse a bit better. It would allow the words to roll off the readers tongue and provide a better flow for your poem. The first two lines of your third stanza read jerkily, perhaps because of your use of the word like in the second line and the sheer wordiness of your first line. The message you wanted to show is clear but that doesn't mean it couldn't be improved. The third line of your final stanza uses the word unknow, did you mean for this to be unknown?Your poem is an amazing read and I only typed all I did for your benefit, the poem is pretty good as it is now. Sorry for typing so much but this poem has so much potential, I just couldn't pass it by ^_^